The day all life on earth ended — for 3 hours

That wasn’t a Russian hack that knocked the Valley offline, it was more like a Eucalyptus tree.

Yes, the world came to a complete standstill Tuesday when a big branch fell on a main fiber line on Eighth Street East, knocking out Comcast internet and phone from Sonoma to El Verano and parts of Glen Ellen. Even Verizon was affected, down in the peak afternoon hours of tweeting, texting, and checking emails.

Three hours of self, no selfies — how did we manage to survive? The Eastsider, for one, had a tough time coping. She was so distraught at losing access to funny cat videos that she actually “had to pay attention to my actual, real-life cats.”

— Val Robichaud