Three tactics to end bullying

By Scott Braun | Special to The Sun — Robert Fuller wants to stop bullying, and he knows how — he’s been doing it for over 40 years.

He began in 1970 by taking on issues of race and gender as president of Oberlin College. One of Fuller’s first acts was to raise the pay of female professors to match that of their male colleagues. He also re-tooled the Physical Education department, a move that led to the hiring of 1968 Olympic gold medalist Tommie Smith, whose raised fist on the victory stand has become one of the most iconic images in sports.

He has worked since then to address inequities around the globe, taking on issues like world peace, hunger and scientific integrity. Along the way Fuller developed the idea of rankism, which he defines as the exploitation or humiliation of those with less power or rank. He explored and advanced the idea in books including “Somebodies and Nobodies: Overcoming the Abuse of Rank” and “Dignity for All: How to Create a World Without Rankism.”

Rankism, Fuller says, shows up in many forms, from school bullying and sexual harassment to ageism and corporate corruption. At the recent Sonoma lecture presented by he Praxis Peace Institute, Fuller spoke about how rankism has affected his own life, and how to deal with it when it shows up in ours.

In his discussion of how to end bullying, three key points emerged.

Dignity. Once you have decided to take on a bully, remember that she’s a person first. We may not like her actions, but we’re likely to bring on a backlash or send the behavior underground if we forget her humanity. Seeing people as the sum of their faults is hardly a way to win them over to your ideas, however enlightened. Fuller writes that dignity is, “an inner drive so insistent that it can move people to shocking acts of revenge when the attempt to achieve it is thwarted.”

Patience. Remember that this is a long-term project. Fuller says it may take 50 years before rankism is fully overcome. In his own family, he outlines the progression from ancestors back six generations who “would have willingly joined a lynch mob,” to his own early struggles with racial prejudice and homophobia. His own generation coined the term “political correctness” (a phrase I find somehow Oxymoronic) not to shame the less enlightened, but to remind themselves to weed out terms that might hurt others and to match their everyday speech to their political convictions. Given the current debate about what is now called “PC,” this work is still ongoing.

Practice. Fuller learned this one early. Having convinced his cabin-mates one summer at camp to take on an older bully in their midst the next time he tried to harass someone, the young Fuller found himself aided by only one of the ten who’d agreed to the mission. They were quickly dispatched by the older, stronger boy and Fuller got a good life lesson – practice. Every successful athlete practices long before they enter a competition. Hours are spent in basic drills and scrimmages.

We can use role-plays in the workplace, classrooms and at home or with friends. By practicing, we not only build strength and skills, we open the conversation before the heat is on. If we wait until rankism rears its ugly mug, we may end up hurt, in a larger mess or worse–using the bully’s own tools — name-calling, put-downs and violence — thus perpetrating more of the same.

There are times, Fuller claims, when “Bullying the bully” may be an effective or even necessary strategy. In the case of physical violence, the most important step is to stop the abuse. Ridicule, isolation and even physical intervention are useful tools, but Fuller cautions us in such cases to be “swift and decisive,” and to follow up in ways that restore the bully to a place of dignity and self-love.

If we leave bullies “out in the cold,” turning them into “nobodies,” should it come as any wonder that they eventually follow one of their own and rise up in anger and fear? If instead we save them a place at the table, we can, by loving example, show them what it means to be fully human and come to know the gifts they bring.